Q&A: Do I Know Anything?
Do I Know Anything?
Question
Sometimes I feel like a leaf drifting in strong winds. Something my rabbi said in an in-depth Talmud lesson expressed it well: after he explained a deep line of reasoning from the later authorities in a complex Talmudic passage in tort law, there was a sense of admiration among the listeners. The rabbi noticed it and said: You're impressed? And then in one moment he shattered the whole argument to pieces… Like how Maimonides explained the principles of faith based on Aristotelian premises, and then Rabbi Hasdai Crescas came along and smashed the premises, and with them the whole structure.
This happens to me in different areas; I won't go on too much, but it gives me the impression that the world is made up of people with strong convictions, who hold ironclad positions, and they sweep along the little people who don't really understand anything… The problem is that I think I'm one of those people. Almost everything I understand, even after serious study (I'm in my eighth year at an advanced yeshiva), does not lead me to iron certainty. I don't think I could ever reach a point of being killed rather than transgress with regard to any commandment—or really anything at all. On second thought, there are things that really are clear to me, but they're in the realm of this world and not connected to Torah and commandments.
What do you do? How do you arrive at certainty in values, at an independent intellectual position, and not just get swept along after this leader or that one? Even a righteous and holy leader who sweeps me along—that's not what it's supposed to be!
Sorry for the length, and thank you very much.
Answer
Greetings.
You asked how one arrives at certainty. The only answer I know is: fool yourself. Otherwise there is no certainty, nor can there be. But you do not need certainty in order to act resolutely according to your positions. Even in the army people risk themselves for their values, and I don't think anyone has certainty that he is right. And if he does—he is fooling himself, and likewise here.
You asked about forming an independent position. You form an independent position by thinking about everything and not accepting statements because of who said them. I don't think I've said anything new here, but perhaps I didn't understand the question.
Wow, WOW, this happens to all of us. There's an influence when you're in a special place and you get into the learning or the lecture or the homily, and you warm up and get into the spirit of what's being said—you feel admiration and an inner joy that gladdens the heart and makes us wiser, and it's pleasant for the soul. This happens a lot, and it's something well known and very familiar. I think that's why people pray with a quorum, because it uplifts even more and brings you closer to the Creator more strongly, both from that angle and also from the angle of the magnetic influence, let's call it that—there's power!
In order to arrive at an intellectual position, you simply need to examine things with your own mind while listening, or when you're reading things you need to check whether it fits with what you already knew, and if not then look for how to challenge it. You're not allowed to be naive!
Usually questions come up while listening, so you ask! If there are no questions, that's a sign you agree with everything, and I wouldn't define that as being swept along!
And if you're talking about the little people being swept along—that in itself is not important, because if the little person doesn't understand why he was swept along, but is swept along by the power of holiness—that's fine and good as long as the holiness is there. But afterward it all disappears!
Because what keeps the material in your head is its connection through understanding to the mind! That's the context and that's the connection. That's why God said: Seek Me and live!
And Chabad—what is it? Wisdom, understanding, and knowledge!
By the way, the more you learn, the more you discover just how many things there still are that you don't know!
In short, I suggest that you write down the questions that come to you during learning, and if when you finish that topic the questions you found still haven't been settled, then write and publish it! Apparently that's your calling!
Once they did an experiment like this: they put a lot of people together and fooled one person. How? They drew two lines on the board and asked one by one which was the shorter line, and everyone intentionally gave the wrong answer, and then the last one—the one they were testing in the experiment—also gave the wrong answer. Afterward they asked him: Why did you give the wrong answer? Don't you see well? He said to them: If everyone said that, it must mean they see better than I do! Do you understand? A person is afraid to take responsibility, so he gets swept along with everyone—but only the strong fish swim against the current; those are the ones who will achieve greatness! Learn with understanding, and that's how you'll arrive at a certain intellectual position! I enjoyed this very much!