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Q&A: What do you think about the things said in this video?

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Originally published:
This is an English translation (via GPT-5.4). Read the original Hebrew version.

What do you think about the things said in this video?

Question

What do you think about the things said in this video? 
How can one calm a woman down afterward—what can be said?
https://youtu.be/2nBcmQMDmtc

Answer

There is no need to calm down any woman. You simply need to understand that this was said in a different era and has no significance today. The ones who need calming are the men and others who take statements like these seriously (as with aggadic statements in general). Even with the Sages, it may be that if we understand the context, this statement will sound less terrible, but as I said, there is no need for that.
How would you calm those who belong to secular society, which until not so long ago supported slavery and denying women the right to vote? Or that rejected homosexuality? Cultural changes happen in every society, religious or secular. These are not statements that came from the Holy One, blessed be He, but from human beings. Both the critics and the defenders belong to the sect of fools and wicked people, in Maimonides’ classification in the introduction to his commentary on the chapter Helek (the three sects in relation to aggadah).

Discussion on Answer

K (2020-06-14)

Did the Rabbi see the video?
Most of it is bringing sources from various rabbis, not really sayings of the Sages.

Maybe the Rabbi, may he live long, could add another short article against igod? There in the miscellaneous section.
As I understand it, they’ve started a new offensive, because already three weeks ago they started uploading videos, and only very recently (days/two weeks?) they began publicizing them. Their videos already have around 250,000 views.

Michi (2020-06-14)

This video is by igod?

K (2020-06-14)

What else…
Did you think it was by Y. Yadan? The heretics don’t die, they just get replaced.
Not long ago they did a big fundraiser in America; if it interests you I’ll look for the link. There they spoke to evangelicals—saying that in the Land of Israel it’s not that people lack money, they only lack “the gospel,” and for every person who donates $50 as a matching donor, they’ll reach 5,000 Jews.
Because Israelis are on media a lot, almost more than any other country. And the media is the arena for missionizing them.

Rational (relatively) – to K (2020-06-14)

Anyone who converts to Christianity because of stupid YouTube videos—I’m sorry to say it—is not someone with especially strong intellect, and high-level intellectual articles like Michi’s won’t help at all.
A crucified Jew who promises them a ticket into heaven, or Breslovers preaching that the sidelocks they grow will help Rabbi Nachman pull them into heaven, or even the lowest-level charlatanism of Indian cults offering you to dance by the seashore and mumble love songs to Indian gods—or prayers to aliens—they’ll buy all of it.
For populations like that, maybe what would help is low-level, demagogic arguments about how Christians murdered Jews for 2,000 years, and some tear-jerking lecture on Hidabroot by Rabbi Yitzhak Ifanger about how Father in Heaven is waiting for you.

Gil (2020-06-14)

Rational, the problem isn’t conversion to Christianity but hatred of religion, going off the religious path, and worse than that: preventing a secular person from wanting to repent and become religious. These videos are very powerful and their influence can’t be denied. It’s worrying. But it is what it is.

. (2020-06-15)

Gil, that’s why we need to hit back in kind. Maybe you could help?

Rational (relatively) (2020-06-15)

To Gil
A. Going off the religious path is not caused by stupid videos like these or others like them (even though they contribute, they’re not the main cause), and there’s really no way to prevent such a mass phenomenon. Because it’s usually caused either by existential feelings like “I don’t connect,” and things like that. In that case it’s very hard to answer, because someone who throws off the yoke is not doing so because of a search for truth, and not out of specific difficulties, but simply because he doesn’t feel like it. You can’t really persuade him rationally toward something. (Of course you can point to all sorts of Hasidic techniques, which are often a religious Jewish version of personal empowerment and self-actualization, but not everyone connects to that. And many see that it’s an imitation of secular New Age spirituality.)

Rational (relatively) (2020-06-15)

…And if the issue is moral difficulties with religion or with religious society, there’s no magic cure for that either. Because there isn’t always an adequate answer to these difficulties—they’re simply real. If someone tells you, for example, that he finds it hard to become religious because of the attitude toward non-Jews, you can of course bring excuses about elite units, books, and testimony from righteous converts like Abraham Livni who testify from the outside how lovely and humane Judaism is, or raise the Meiri from the dead. But at the end of the day, when the negative approach to the non-Jew—to most non-Jews—is indeed found in certain sources, and not marginal ones at all, and in broad parts of religious-Haredi society, that won’t hold water. Same for sources that talk about slaves, women, secular people, and so on.

Rational (relatively) (2020-06-15)

And in general, going off the religious path cannot have a broad solution through selling candy and sweets to the general public, since most of them aren’t that stupid. Rather, it has to be through presenting the full picture. Even though this specific video is tainted by an anarchistic bent and chooses to present fringe figures from the margins of the margins—some of whom, in my humble opinion, are not Torah scholars at all but returnees to religion who got carried away, like Yossi Mizrachi, or rabbis who are absolutely not mainstream in any public, like Eliezer Berland—to say that the approach to women according to certain medieval authorities and certain sources is not negative is deception. The best way is simply to be intellectually honest and say that there are different sources, and that commandment observance does not necessarily mean throwing away common sense, and we’ll still claim that one should observe minor commandments like major ones even if on certain factual issues you disagree with the great sages of other times or think that what they said in that area is no longer the same today.

Simpleton. (2020-06-17)

Rabbi Zamir Cohen’s response..

Shulyata (2020-06-17)

I didn’t understand the answer, but here are his arguments:
1. The Sages said that extra understanding was given to women. A married man should consult with his wife.
2. The video was produced by missionaries.
3. Why didn’t they bring the words of the Sages that elevate “the woman”? Without a wife, without blessing.
4. In the Zohar, marriage is completion and unification into one.
5. In the Christian view, the woman is the agent of Satan. They’re going to preach morality?
6. Jews sing “A Woman of Valor” every Sabbath from the book of Proverbs in the Hebrew Bible (Tanakh) (“the Old Testament”).
7. In the Bible there is the verse, “He who finds a wife finds good.”
8. On the other hand it says, “I find more bitter than death…” (the resolution of the contradiction: there is great potential, and it can go in two directions. If you operate with ego—“I find”—then you fail).
9. Rav Yosef stood before his mother as before the Divine Presence.
10. Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach would fix his appearance before entering his home.
11. The great sages of Israel elevated women. “In the merit of righteous women, they were redeemed from Egypt.” And in their merit they will also be redeemed in the future.
12. The festivals of redemption revolve around women. Hanukkah (Judith). Purim (Esther). Passover and Sukkot (righteous women).
12. Some of the passages in the missionary video are taken out of context.

There Is an End to the Proverb (2020-06-17)

In Ecclesiastes it is said plainly about a woman: “He who finds a wife finds good and obtains favor from the Lord,” and it is also said, “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, for that is your portion…” By contrast, “I find more bitter than death” was said about “the woman whose heart is snares and nets”—that is the strange woman who tries to entice a person into sin.

This distinction is made by King Solomon in Proverbs chapter 5, where he warns against the strange woman who seeks to cause a person to sin: “For the lips of a strange woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood… Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house…”

In contrast, Solomon teaches: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth, a loving doe and graceful ibex; let her breasts satisfy you at all times, be ravished always with her love. Why should you, my son, be ravished by a strange woman and embrace the bosom of a foreign woman?”

Among Christians there was no such distinction. They disqualified every woman as an awakener of sexual desire, and therefore demanded of their priests abstinence from marital life and marriage. About their “messiah,” the Gospel tells that he even treated his mother disrespectfully when she came to him while he was gathering with his disciples, and said to her: “What have I to do with you, woman…?”

By contrast, the Israelite man is guided by the Sages, who equated the honor and reverence due to one’s father and mother—his father who teaches him Torah, and his mother who “coaxes him with words” and educates him to a life of Torah, commandments, and good character traits.

So much so that one of the Tannaim, whose mother was amazed by the honor he showed her when her sandal strap snapped and he put his hand under her foot so she could walk on it, was told by his colleagues that he had not even reached half the honor the Torah commanded.

And someone accustomed in this way to honor his mother will find it easier to fulfill regarding his wife: “He loves her as himself and honors her more than himself” (Yevamot 62), and to consult with her on all household matters (Bava Metzia 59), like our forefather Jacob, who when the angel commanded him to return to the Land of Israel, called his wives and sought their agreement.

Among Jews who observe Torah and commandments, the home and the children are foremost in their minds. No wonder that the woman, whose role is central in educating the children and determining the character of the home as a faithful Jewish home full of Torah and kindness, is greatly honored in her husband’s eyes, as written in “A Woman of Valor”: “Her children rise and praise her; her husband, too, and he praises her.”

With blessing,
Shatz

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