Gay Men with a Child? Some Rabbis Would Congratulate Them
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Gay Men with a Child? Some Rabbis Would Offer Congratulations
Yaki Admaker
2.11.2014 / 9:43
He argues that there is no prohibition in Jewish law against granting rights to gay people. He thinks the rabbinate acts like a bully when it does not allow the conversion of the child of a gay couple. He knows of no solution within Jewish law to the issue, but hopes that in another 20 years Jewish law will be more flexible. Rabbi Dr. Michael Abraham, in an interview with the Kamocha website about Jewish law and homosexuality
He is against a law that prohibits same-sex marriage, supports surrogacy legislation, says that the Health Ministry’s warning against conversion therapy for gay men is “part of violent liberal propaganda,” believes that gay people have more of a place in Israeli society than “Sabbath violators” or “people who eat non-kosher food,” and argues that the Chief Rabbinate acts like a bully when it does not allow the conversion of the child of a religious same-sex couple.
Meet Rabbi Michael Abraham, a PhD in physics, whom no ideological label captures, yet on controversial issues he has much to say and is not the least bit shy about saying it. Rabbi Abraham was educated in the religious school system, and during his studies at a hesder yeshiva he left to serve in the army, drifted away from religion, and later returned to Torah through the ultra-Orthodox world. He served as a rabbi at the hesder yeshiva in Yeruham, and today he teaches at the Institute for Advanced Torah Studies at Bar-Ilan University and at other academic institutions.
When asked about the effectiveness of conversion therapy for gay men and whether there is any duty at all to try these treatments, he divides the answer into two parts. “The question of the effectiveness of these treatments is a scientific question, and, to the best of my judgment, even there there is no clear and agreed-upon information. If indeed there is a chance that such treatment will help, it seems to me that there is an obligation under Jewish law to try it in order to avoid violating the prohibition against male same-sex intercourse and to fulfill the commandment to be fruitful and multiply within marriage.”
He addressed the issue of homosexuality in an extensive interview he gave to the website of the Kamocha association – Orthodox Religious Gay Men. Among other things, he also addressed the recent warning issued by the Health Ministry against conversion therapy for gay men: “This is part of the violent and emotional liberal propaganda on this subject,” he says. “Propaganda and emotionalism always interfere with conducting a discussion; that is true in this case and in others as well. As for shaping the values to which each of us is committed, I would not recommend turning to the Health Ministry or any other government ministry, nor to the Psychologists Council, and least of all to the minister of health.”
Abraham argues that rabbis, especially ultra-Orthodox ones, who tell religious gay men, ‘Get married and it will pass,’ should do so only after examining the data and the scientific findings. “My sense is that there are rabbis who say this only because they think that if the Torah prohibited it, that must mean it can be overcome. I oppose that absurd approach.” Nevertheless, in his view, a gay man who marries a woman without first telling her about his sexual inclinations has lied to her; “that constitutes a marriage entered into under false pretenses.”
Despite the openness Dr. Abraham displays in a conversation dealing with homosexuality, and religious gay men in particular, he nonetheless voices implicit criticism of those who move in together. “I do not understand why living together makes things easier for them. It only increases the likelihood of reaching prohibition. It is like a person who desires illicit sexual relations, and because of that we would permit him private seclusion with a woman. This is both less permissible and not easier; on the contrary, it makes things more difficult.” At the same time, he also claims that there is no solution within Jewish law for a religious gay man. “What is the solution for a kleptomaniac? What is the solution for a cancer patient? There are problems that have no solution. And I should note that I am not making a comparison here in the sense that all of these are illnesses.”
In his words, “There is absolutely no prohibition against a same-sex couple raising a child. Is there a prohibition against two offenders raising a child? I know of no such prohibition. Are Sabbath violators or people who eat non-kosher food allowed to raise a child? Then gay people are also allowed to. And if it is allowed, it cannot be that they are prevented from doing so. In my opinion, this should be enshrined in law in a democratic state.” When Abraham is asked whether same-sex marriage and surrogacy for same-sex couples should be enshrined in law, he says that “if what is meant is recognizing such a couple’s relationship as marriage for the purpose of granting legal rights, that is possible. The act is prohibited, but there is no prohibition against granting them rights.”
Why did God create the possibility of same-sex attraction?
“It may be that the Holy One, blessed be He, desires the laws of nature that exist—after all, He created them—and homosexuality is a necessary consequence of them, and therefore there is no escaping it even if He does not desire it. This is a possible answer to all the evil that exists in the world, although of course it requires us to enter into the question whether the Holy One, blessed be He, can be subject to constraints. In the view of many medieval authorities, He is certainly subject to logical constraints, even if not to scientific ones.”
During the interview, Rabbi Abraham argues that religion and state should be separated, that there is no barrier to converting the child of a religious gay couple, and that the claim in religious society that homosexuality is an illness is a normative claim in which there is nothing inherently wrong, but it also has no particular importance or meaning. He also states that it is obligatory to talk about the subject of homosexuality in the Israeli educational system, and that gay people should be an inseparable part of us.
“To be part of society means that they should not be treated differently from Sabbath violators or people who eat non-kosher food. On the contrary, as I explained, those offenders are more severe than homosexuals, since it is less difficult for them. But that does not mean that the prohibition in Jewish law and in principle against appointing as prayer leader someone who commits transgressions—especially if this is declared and public—is nullified. All the rules of Jewish law and the meta-legal principles underlying it remain intact despite the empathy. Therefore, such a person should not be appointed to serve as prayer leader, just as I would not appoint any other offender. By contrast, with regard to being called up to the Torah, I see no impediment whatsoever. If a person commits one transgression, is he prevented from performing commandments? Again, how is this different from a Sabbath violator or someone who eats non-kosher food?”