Q&A: Lying About Personal Habits
Lying About Personal Habits
Question
Hello Rabbi,
I smoke. In my professional circle this is really, really not acceptable (that is, ordinary tobacco). So in my professional relationships I hide that fact. Today I was asked directly by a colleague with whom I don’t really have any shared work interface, “Tell me, do you smoke?” I answered no. My reason and justification is that I simply don’t want people to know that about me. Obviously I could have answered, “I don’t want to answer,” but in practice that’s equivalent to an affirmative answer. Am I obligated to tell the truth or to evade? Tomorrow I could go around and ask everyone, “Tell me, are you the one who left the bathroom dirty?” and then he’d be forced to tell me the truth?
On the other hand, if people use this in order to form an opinion about my personality, and maybe also about my professional abilities (as their own statistical assumption), then how is this different from lying about professional experience or education? I’m conflicted about this and would be glad for the Rabbi’s answer from a halakhic perspective, and for your opinion from a moral perspective.
Thank you.
Answer
If this has a real connection to your professional abilities, then you may not lie. But if people have prejudices, you are under no obligation to cooperate with them. You do not have to give personal information to anyone to whom it is not relevant. Not halakhically (it is not even clear to what extent there is a halakhic prohibition against lying in general), and not morally. And if not answering is likely to give you away, I see no problem with lying.
Next time when they ask you, “Do you smoke?”, answer with a joke: “No, I’m from Ashdod.”