How does this fit with another answer you wrote regarding sexual extortion:

Hello Rabbi,
Recently an article was published about a woman who extorted a man by threatening that if he didn’t bring her X amount of money, she would tell his wife that she had slept with him (which is what really happened). I wondered whether such a threat involves any moral problem. After all, the wife has a right to know that her husband slept with another woman. On the other hand, maybe one could argue that there was implicit consent (a hidden condition) between the man and the extorting woman that their relationship was discreet and not to be told to anyone, and then carrying out the extortion threat would be a breach of that condition and deception (revealing information that is not only yours to a third party). What do you think?

Michi Team answered 6 years ago
A difficult question. I don’t have time right now, and I’ll write briefly off the cuff.
Why does the wife have a right to know this? I’m not sure. An actual right she quite clearly does not have, but maybe there is some reason to tell her. On the other hand, as long as she doesn’t know, it doesn’t harm her. Maybe if she wants to divorce anyway, and this could help her — then there is some point in telling her. Otherwise, I very much doubt that it is right to tell.
Even if the matter has implications for prohibition or permission, for example informing a husband that his wife committed adultery (which makes her forbidden to him), the Noda B'Yehuda wrote a very famous responsum about this (sec. 35), expressing doubt about the matter, and in conclusion, if I remember correctly, he concluded that one should not tell. However, I don’t have time right now to look into it, and I recall that quite a few responsa were written on that same case בעקבות the Noda B'Yehuda.

https://mikyab.net/%D7%A9%D7%95%D7%AA/%D7%A1%D7%97%D7%99%D7%98%D7%94-%D7%9E%D7%99%D7%A0%D7%99%D7%AA/

What contradiction did you see here?

You wrote: “I very much doubt that it is right to tell.”

So? And here I wrote that I don’t have an answer. It depends on the people and on the situation. Where is the contradiction?

Ah okay, sorry, apparently I didn’t understand correctly

Maybe there is a difference between the answers with respect to hidden infidelities. In his youth Rabbi Michi taught: as long as she doesn’t know, it doesn’t harm her. And in his old age he taught: I think hidden infidelities harm marital peace no less.
If hidden infidelity and open infidelity harm the marital-peace component to the same degree, then presumably there is harm to the wife in hidden infidelity in that reality is unclear, and there may be feelings of guilt about the damaged marital peace, and so on.