Q&A: Having a Child Outside of Marriage
Having a Child Outside of Marriage
Question
Hello Rabbi,
Is it permitted / appropriate for a divorced couple who have frozen embryos from the time of their marriage to bring their frozen embryos into the world and raise them separately (like co-parenting)? Or perhaps this involves neglecting the commandment of kiddushin, or going against the will of the Torah in the sense that it expects children to be brought into the world only within the framework of kiddushin and marriage.
Answer
From a formal halakhic standpoint, the Torah requires kiddushin before the sexual union that leads to children, but it does not require the birth to take place when there are two married parents. A woman is permitted to give birth, after divorce, to an embryo that was created within her during marriage. From a non-halakhic perspective (if you like, perhaps this is the spirit of the Torah), I assume it is preferable to raise children in a healthy two-parent relationship.
By the way, it is interesting that once he has decided to divorce her, he is again forbidden to have relations with her (by the words of the Prophets/Writings). Perhaps this was intended to prevent the birth of a child to a single mother. Though plainly, this is a prohibition on the act of intercourse itself (a “divorced in his heart” wife), not on having children.