Q&A: Is There Really a “Prohibition” Against Wasting Seed? And Does It Include Married Couples with Children?
Is There Really a “Prohibition” Against Wasting Seed? And Does It Include Married Couples with Children?
Question
Hello, honorable Rabbi,
In the passage in tractate Yevamot (34b) it seems that the sin of Er and Onan was not the manner of the act of wasting seed itself, but rather the intention: “Granted, in Onan’s case, because the offspring would not be his; but why did Er do this? So that she would not become pregnant and her beauty be diminished.” It seems from here that the main prohibition is the intention, not the act itself. (And that also seems to emerge from Tosafot there, in the second view.) This is also the reasoning of the Ri”d (Piskei HaRi”d, Yevamot 12b): “What is the act of Er and Onan that the Torah forbade? Any case where his intention is that she not become pregnant in order to diminish her beauty, and he does not want to fulfill be fruitful and multiply through her. But if his intention is that she not come into danger, it is permitted. And likewise, if he intends for his own lust and does not intend that she not become pregnant, it is permitted.” My question, based on these statements, is: does the prohibition of wasting seed include someone who has already fulfilled the commandment of be fruitful and multiply? And has this “prohibition” not been blown way out of proportion beyond what is warranted, because of the Zohar?
Answer
I don’t see any novelty here relative to the accepted view. When the reason is unjustified, that is wasting seed. When there is a good reason, it is permitted to release semen. The proof is that a man is permitted to have relations with his wife even without impregnating her, and also at times when she is not ovulating. And likewise, it is permissible to produce semen for the purpose of in vitro fertilization.
Discussion on Answer
Wasting seed in order to satisfy lust is forbidden. The Rif is speaking about someone who has relations with his wife out of lust in a way that she will not become pregnant. Sexual relations are not wasting seed.
I
I join Oren’s question.
Does this prohibition apply to a married couple with children who do not currently want to have more children, and are having marital relations only for desire and affection—that is, wasting seed by means of contraception or during intercourse? According to the Ri”d’s words, the whole image of this as a “severe prohibition,” according to the Zohar and Kabbalah and all the YouTube preachers who use those sources, collapses.
I didn’t understand. You’re joining the question after I already answered? You mean to say that I didn’t answer. So don’t “join”—rather explain what the problem is that you see.
1. The problem I see is that the prohibition of wasting seed does not apply to someone who has fulfilled be fruitful and multiply—the opposite of the common view, which is that this is a general prohibition.
2. The prohibition applies only to someone who does not intend to fulfill be fruitful and multiply—for example, a “single man.” And it really is not some terrible and severe prohibition that damages the upper worlds and all the rest of that stuff, as various preachers spread around.
You wrote that there is no prohibition against producing semen for the purpose of in vitro fertilization.
What about producing semen solely for a semen analysis, in order afterward to begin the fertilization process?
And regarding producing semen for in vitro fertilization, I know that in the Haredi public it is customary to produce the semen during intercourse using a special (and expensive…) condom that has a tiny hole in it, so that a little of the semen enters the woman’s body. In your opinion, is that unnecessary?
How would you instruct a person to produce semen for the sake of in vitro fertilization? How should he stimulate himself?
In my personal opinion, anything necessary for the purpose of procreation is permitted. There’s no need to try to outsmart the Holy One, blessed be He, with fictitious condoms.
I haven’t dealt with the technical details, but presumably he should do it with his wife.
But the Ri”d writes: “If he intends for his own lust and does not intend that she not become pregnant, it is permitted.” That seems directly contrary to the common view that someone who wastes seed just to satisfy his desire is, par excellence, a violator of wasting seed, no?