Q&A: On Modesty
On Modesty
Question
Hello Rabbi,
What does the Rabbi think about modesty? What is the definition of modesty בכלל?
I saw in several places that modesty is defined such that clothing should fit the period and not stand out too much in either direction.
That would mean that according to this, even someone who dresses too modestly is actually not modest, because she stands out in public.
But then if a situation were to arise in which all the women in the world reduced their clothing (and perhaps the men as well), it would become the norm to walk around in minimal clothing, and then one would have to dress that way in order to preserve “modesty.”
This definition seems a bit problematic to me, even though at first glance it makes sense, since both Eve and Sarah went modestly dressed, and clearly the two of them dressed (or did not dress) in completely different ways.
I would be happy if the Rabbi could shed some light on the issue and define the concept a bit better. Thank you very much
Answer
I don’t think there is a sharp definition of modesty. What you suggested definitely captures something fundamental about it, but I wouldn’t take it as a sharp and binding definition. It is also clear that modesty is a function of time and place, but not necessarily in the sense that social norms define modesty. It would be more accurate to say that modesty depends on norms (that is, it is not uniform across all times and places). Indeed, someone who stands out (why did you decide that modesty is specifically about women?) in his or her clothing through an excess or lack of “modesty” is not modest. But even if all the women in the world went around without clothes, it is not certain that this would be considered modest. One has to live in that place and time in order to decide. It is a matter of feeling. As I wrote above, what is accepted is not necessarily modest. But modesty does indeed also depend on what is accepted. By the way, Maimonides in chapter 49 of The Guide for the Perplexed really implies that this is the ideal state. But after the sin, it is reasonable that conventional social norms also have value.