Do I know anything?

Sometimes, I feel like a leaf of grass between strong winds. A phrase from my rabbi in a shiur of the Gamma in Aiyon expressed it beautifully – after explaining a profound move in the Acharonim on a complex issue in Nazkin, an atmosphere of admiration arose from the audience. The rabbi noticed this and said – are you amazed? And then in one moment he tore the move to pieces… just as the Maimonides explained the principles of faith according to Aristotle's assumptions and Rabbi Krashakash came along and shattered the assumptions and, in turn, the building.
This happens to me on various subjects, I won't elaborate too much, and it gives me the impression that the world is made up of people with strong views, who hold an ironclad position and they drag the little people after them, who don't really understand anything. The problem is that I think I'm one of them. Almost everything I understand, even after basic studies (I'm in my eighth year at a high yeshiva) – doesn't lead me to ironclad certainty. I don't think I can reach a state of being killed and not passing over regarding any mitzvah or anything in fact. In the second illustration, there are things that are really clear to me, but that's in the realm of the world and not related to the Law and commandments.
What do we do? How do we reach certainty in values, an independent intellectual position, and not be swept away by this or that leader? Even a righteous and holy leader who sweeps me away – that's not what it's supposed to be!
Sorry for the length and thank you very much.