The pattern of tradition

Hello,
I thought about the fact that in our world there are so many different types and shades of people in all respects, whether it's character, sexual preference, worldview, and a host of other things. How can Judaism and the tradition that has a pretty specific template for how to live life suit everyone? I mean the Jews among us, the gentiles, we'll still remove from the equation. What's more, in Judaism there are ancient and old approaches that don't all get along with all the progress and modernization that will probably continue and develop, such as the approach that the husband should be in the kollel all day and the wife should work. This is less and less working today. There are certainly ultra-Orthodox who probably don't do this, but they are not considered "real" ultra-Orthodox. And even among them there are those who see it as the default and the ideal is to sit and study Torah. This is of course just one example among many others, and it's also a relatively easy case. What about men who define themselves as women? What about those who don't want a definition at all? What about asexuals?
Judaism does not contain all of this. Of course, there are those who do, but it is in their own name and not in the name of Judaism. I really feel that in general, society is run by those "rebels." If they were run exactly according to Judaism, it would probably be similar to Iran because they would not let girls wear what they wanted and would officially condemn all homosexuality.
It seems that everyone lives their life however they see fit or however they were lucky enough to be born into, which society or family they were born into, because sometimes they are not liberal enough.
So what is the solution? And if there is not, what does this say about Judaism in general?