Q&A: Is It Moral to Address a Person in a Different Form of Address Than He Wants?
Is It Moral to Address a Person in a Different Form of Address Than He Wants?
Question
I’ll explain the case:
There is a man in a group I’m part of, and he wants people to address him using feminine/plural forms. So far I’ve gone along with it for a few reasons:
A. Even if he’s a victim of progressive madness, you still shouldn’t hurt him in a way that he defines as hurt, by his own definition.
B. I didn’t want people to see me as some kind of serial offender.
On the other hand, it feels to me like terrorism, and it hurts me, because it makes me cooperate with something that goes against my views. And it confuses me to relate to a man as a woman or as plural. It feels like a joke is being played, except sadly it’s completely serious.
Answer
I don’t think there is any obligation to act the way he thinks or wants. He is hurting you just as you are hurting him. If it isn’t very important to you, then of course you can be considerate of him, but it is absolutely not an obligation. The madness in our region is not only that people demand this, but that anyone who does not act this way is considered immoral and offensive. This is especially true if he demands to be addressed in the plural. That is really ridiculous, and I wouldn’t do it. As for feminine language, there is at least some basis for it, if one decides that the form of address is determined by gender and not by sex. But where does plural address suddenly come from?! Even if he demanded that I see him as the messiah or as Napoleon, I wouldn’t do that.