Question

Avi is not an educated person. We argue quite a lot and I keep asking myself why I invest so much effort trying to get him to understand things that, in my opinion and to the best of my judgment, he doesn’t understand or misses even though all my past attempts ended in complete failure??
Last Sabbath I realized that I’m actually refusing to put him into a category called “people you can’t talk to” or“people who are trapped in their own subjectivity”.
I realized maybe even more than that. That I refuse to accept the existence of such a category. Because how do I know that I can’t talk with him? What, just because he doesn’t understand what I understand or am trying to say?? How do I know that I’m not the closed-minded one, and that I’m the kind of person you can’t talk to (as he often claims)?? So many times I try to get him if not to agree then at the very least to understand what I’m trying to say but it just fails again and again.
Inside my mind he is perceived as a closed-minded person who is afraid to even consider (really though) the possibility that the fact that he grasps or thinks something doesn’t directly prove that it’s true.
Inside my mind he is perceived as someone who lacks the intellectual sharpness and emotional breadth required to understand the complexity of things the way I, maybe, often do manage to do (not from a place of pride or contempt God forbid!)
There’s always with me in our conversations the feeling that he simply doesn’t understand the issue!!!!! It’s present in me so strongly!!!
But then I think of the fact (which he often mentions) that he too, exactly like me, experiences that same frustration from the fact that he identifies that I simply don’t understand anything and that he cannot lead me to see things without the blindness and distortion I’m immersed in. (“You’re too clever for your own good,” he says to me. Or, “your mind is warped and distorted.”) I feel that this prevents me from having the ability to form in a finished way, one that settles things in the soul in a stable way (as much as possible, of course, since there is no certainty about anything) my position regarding the issues under discussion. How do you solve this problem?
On the one hand I feel that my view is truer than his and that he doesn’t understand things deeply. But on the other hand that same psychological-intellectual structure that creates my opinions on those matters also forces me to think that maybe I’m the one who is wrong and the one who doesn’t grasp the depth of things and not him… Whatdo I do??????