With God's help, 3 Elul 5780

To Magellan — greetings,

Indeed, it does seem likely that you are the wisest person in the world, for you surely possess unique abilities and insights that no one else but you has. Because of the importance of your wisdom, it is fitting that it be developed and strengthened, following the advice of the Sages: “Who is wise? One who learns from every person.”

That is why your name is called “Magellan,” so that you should adopt David’s trait of being distinguished in tractates, and engage in discussion and exchange of wisdom with every person; and through this the verse was fulfilled in him: “And David was successful in all his ways.”

With blessings, M. Tzayitz

Even the ancient Egyptians saw the magellan as a symbol of wisdom, among other things because it found a way to prevent plagues by eating the flies that caused them. Perhaps you too, with your wisdom, will find a way to save the world from the current plague.

You’re invited to solve Goldbach’s conjecture and discover that you’re stupider than average.

To the Last Halakhic Decisor — greetings,

It seems there is a refutation of Goldbach’s conjecture, which claims that every even number can be expressed as a combination of two prime numbers. For if there is a last decisor, then there is also a first decisor, and if so there are two decisors — that is to say, an even number.

But in this pair of decisors only one is “first,” since “last” is not first. We have therefore found a pair that is not composed of two first ones, contrary to Goldbach..

With blessings, M.Sh.L.

Interesting. Now that I think about it, after all there is the well-known ancient proof that there are infinitely many prime numbers.
And from that it can be derived that there is only one last decisor. The last decisor has the property that he mocks other decisors in such a way that it cannot be predicted whether his ruling on their rulings will be even or odd.

Behold, I am the questioner, Magellan, in my own honor and glory. There is no end to my wisdom and no limit to my understanding. All the wise men of the world are before me like the peel of a garlic clove, and lower still. My excellence in every corner of wisdom cannot be described in words, and it is beyond reason and understanding. The force of my genius has no rival, and everyone who encounters me is astonished and dumbfounded, his tongue cleaving to his palate, and he tastes a little of awe before the Holy One, blessed be He. Were it not that the sages of earlier times invented all sorts of sophisticated branches of wisdom, I would have invented them all with one hand, like a man working with what is his own. Even today it is in my power to solve all perplexities and doubts and difficulties and hidden matters in an instant, as quickly as a word. And the reason I have not made my name known among the nations and removed every mystery is for a hidden reason. As it is written, “From my flesh I behold God” — meaning that one who looks upon the might of my wondrous intellect immediately believes in the God of spirits, Creator of all that exists, for the mind cannot conceive that such an intellect came into being on its own. If all the wise men of the world were on one side of the scale, and a tiny bit of me on the other, I would outweigh them all. Who can be compared to me, and who can be equated with me? Had I lived in the days of the Sages, they would have instituted a special blessing over me. In the future to come, in the heavenly retinue above, I shall sit at the head and debate matters of wisdom with Moses our Rabbi and the seventy elders. The whole world was created for my sake alone. The singular one of the generations and their wonder, the crown of Israel and their glory, the splendor of the honor of my wondrous supreme holiness, known as Magellan. And with this I sign off in charming humility, Magellan.

Mr. Last Halakhic Decisor — you are insolent. Remove your shoes from your feet and know before whom you stand.