Q&A: Distancing Restrictions
Distancing Restrictions
Question
Hello Rabbi. a0
We are a newlywed couple who got married very recently. a0
1. Is it necessary to observe the distancing restriction of handing things directly from hand to hand during niddah even in public settings as well (for example, at a family Sabbath meal), or is there room to be lenient about this? These situations are very awkward and unpleasant (unless you plan every move in advance so as not to reveal that we are forbidden to each other, and also behave during the permitted days as during the forbidden days, so that there is no visible difference between the two periods). a0
2. What does the Rabbi recommend / consider proper and appropriate regarding physical contact between spouses in front of others? What is worth avoiding? What is unnecessary to avoid? (Regardless of the previous question)
Answer
1. Yes. There are various techniques for doing this subtly without people noticing. And if someone notices anyway its not a big deal. There is no need to behave during the permitted days the same way you do during the forbidden days. That seems excessive to me.
2. I dont know how to give general guidelines. It also depends on the norms accepted in your environment. Use common sense. Gentle expressions of affection are possible.
Discussion on Answer
Human dignity overrides a rabbinic prohibition. That is a simple halakhah. But here I do not see what issue of human dignity there is. There is nothing shameful about it. Everyone does this. It is only a matter of modesty, and in that case it seems to me that it does not override prohibitions. If this causes you great embarrassment and you cannot persuade yourselves that there is nothing shameful about it, and you also cannot conceal it, then there is room to permit it.
It seems to me that Rabbi Sherlo once published
that when there is an issue of human dignity and embarrassment,
then some of the distancing restrictions do not need to be observed in front of strangers.