Q&A: Equality Between Woman and Man According to the Torah
Equality Between Woman and Man According to the Torah
Question
Hello Rabbi, I wanted to ask what you think about the Talmudic statement that says: “The world cannot exist without males, and the world cannot exist without females; happy is one whose children are males, and woe to one whose children are females,” etc. Do you accept that? Do you think it is true? Do you think that is the attitude according to the Torah?
Answer
My opinion is that this is a meaningless Talmudic passage, like many aggadic statements. Is it really instructing me to be upset that I have a daughter? Whether I like that or not is a matter of personal taste. Especially since it is not in my hands but in the hands of nature (the Holy One, blessed be He?). Personally, I am absolutely not sorry about my daughters and granddaughters. On the contrary, they give me tremendous satisfaction, exactly like the sons/grandsons. Even someone who is upset for some reason is so because of his personal taste, not because of a Talmudic saying. Do you really think this is an instruction to make me feel distress because daughters were born to me? Or to make me complain against the Holy One, blessed be He, for what He gave me? That’s absurd.
Discussion on Answer
Rabbi, in my opinion this is connected to what was going on in their time, as is written in Pele Yoetz under the entry “Daughter” (which strongly opposes what they did to daughters)
https://www.toratemetfreeware.com/online/f_01643.html#HtmpReportNum0026_L2
I didn’t understand what this clarification added. I answered what I had to say. That is probably what they thought, and that’s it. They were people like you and me, products of their time and subject to the norms that were accepted then. I don’t know what “the Torah’s outlook” means. There is no such thing.
I always thought the Talmud meant “a female-like son”—a son who behaves like daughters—and about him it says, “woe to one whose children are females.”
That’s also how it sounds from the wording.
Avi, that is a well-known claim, although there is really nothing to it; look at the context of the Talmudic passage and you’ll understand.
No. My question is not what the proper feeling should be when a daughter is born. My question is about the attitude the Amoraim had toward daughters. The Amoraim had a vast scope of Torah knowledge, and the Torah tradition was close to them, so I generally feel respect for their views (not obligation). I’ll sharpen the question: in your opinion, do the Amoraim represent the Torah’s outlook toward daughters—that they are less important from a Torah perspective, and therefore it is regrettable if someone has a daughter rather than a son, just as it would be nicer if the child born were especially talented?
Of course this Talmudic passage is difficult for me, but it is also hard for me to say about the Amoraim that they had a crooked moral outlook, or that they were not aiming here at the Torah’s view.