Question

Hello Rabbi, 
 
First of all, I need to ask forgiveness, because I know this is not your field, but since the Rabbi deals a lot with matters of God and faith, I thought it appropriate to try asking you. 
I am experiencing a very serious dissonance. On the one hand, there is the desire to be a thinking, philosophical, curious person who forms positions by his own power. On the other hand, I am dealing with something that until yesterday I would have called a fear of inquiry, but today it seems to me it is already more like anxiety. Yesterday, after I came across Hume's critique of the argument from testimony, I had a small anxiety attack. All this time I had assumed the revelation at Mount Sinai as a foundational premise, and suddenly it became clear to me how arbitrary it is and how little basis I really have, and now I feel that I have serious doubt in faith and that I need to begin investigating from a deeper starting point. I keep putting off the learning, whether because of fear or because of perfectionism. In recent months I felt that I was not afraid to investigate, and that even if I reached the conclusion that I have no reason to keep the commandments, then fine. But yesterday during the attack I felt cold, and as if a pit were opening up under my feet ("If the Torah was not given to us, then what is the meaning at all? Why am I living?")—definitely a feeling I was not prepared for. 
I am trying to recover from it. But I would like to hear from the Rabbi whether he knows of, has heard of, or has experienced something similar, and what from a logical standpoint one can and should do (investigate, not investigate, wait with it), how one can deal with fear of the bubble I live in bursting, how one can reconcile my new doubt and the conclusions that follow in a more emotionally whole way. And I know there is a bit of psychology here, and truly, forgive me, I just really feel that I need to ask someone this, so if the Rabbi can try to say something helpful, I would be glad,