Question

Hello Rabbi. I’m a religious young man (or at least trying to be, and even that is thanks to your books). I met a religious young woman who is at about the same religious level as I am in practice (in terms of worldview she is different from me and believes more simply/naively). Unfortunately, we have not observed any physical boundaries at all, and the sin is a significant part of our relationship. From the beginning we had serious doubts about whether we were suitable for each other for marriage in the future, and that continues to cast a shadow over the relationship all the time, but we got carried away into sin. 
Currently I am trying to shake off the secular worldview (regarding relationships) that I somewhat adopted, and return to simplicity/innocence: to get to know a woman in a more accepted way, more purposefully and goal-oriented, with attention to all the characteristics relevant to future compatibility. As for her, she would be happy if I chose this path and chose her. And with a lot of effort it’s possible to “create compatibility” and direct my life in such a way that we would fit in the future as well. But I am very doubtful whether I really “love her” and whether she is right for me, or whether the physical contact has confused my judgment, or whether it is simply the fear of breaking up with her (which would hurt her very much, and me no less) that is keeping me with her. I know there is no correct answer to this question, but I would still ask for your advice: is it worth choosing her as my wife when I somewhat “got swept into the relationship,” which from the outset was built on such foundations, and the doubts about our compatibility (and about real love without the blurring effect of attraction) still exist, when on the one hand I could create compatibility with her, get married, and manage. Or would it be better for me to look for “the perfect one,” meaning someone who from the outset is more suitable, and whom I also got to know in a proper way from the beginning?