Question

As a Haredi person, I agreed with almost the entire column, but I think you missed an important point. In the Haredi world there is a group of intelligent people who are connected to modern values, and they have the same duality you mentioned. But most of the modern Haredim, the so-called “lite Haredim,” are modern for convenience, not out of defiance. That is, they went out to work not because of ideology but despite Haredi ideology. They didn’t think through whether it was right or not, but chose the easier path. And with them, the duality comes from different reasons: they feel that they chose the modern side because of their own weakness. Therefore it will also be harder with them to create a third, high-quality identity. They are lay householders, not Torah scholars, and as you noted, it is harder to work with them.
Of course, I think it is legitimate and proper that people in the sector go out to work, but for them it did not come from the right reasons, and therefore the Haredi sector also does not take them seriously.
And by the way, the claim that the Haredi public survives in part because of people like you is a very strong one. I really don’t understand how this has been overlooked until now.