Question

Dear Rabbi Michael,
I’ve heard you a few times and read a bit, and I said to myself: omg, if there’s anyone in the world—it’s this man!

Now, I know you’re trying to make big revolutions and change worlds, but every person is a world. And my world is dark from so many doubts and so little clarity. It’s hard for me to read a lot or learn in any way, because my concentration isn’t great, and I also get tangled up in the abstract definitions of intellectuals. I also live in Haredi culture, which doesn’t allow much flexibility of thought.
Along with all these shortcomings, though, there burns in me a tremendous passion for truth; ignorance within circles of habit and prejudice makes life unbearable for me.
So what I’m asking from you is guidance: what should I read, or listen to—but in the most concise way possible—in order to know what can be known (I know there will always remain those annoying shadows of doubt).
I believe more or less in God. The only question is Judaism as a whole, and its Jewish laws.
Because it seems that a lot of people invented a lot of things, and I can’t find the connection between this whole vast bookshelf of Jewish texts and God, who seems mainly occupied with physics and biology, and less interested in rules of behavior, whether strict or not.
So, as I said, Rabbi Michael, my soul is in my question. And if you’re interested in changing the world, whoever saves a single soul is considered as if he saved an entire world.

(Of course, if there are other people on this platform who can help with the kind of guidance I asked for, I’d be deeply grateful, because I’m already suffocating from all the wondering, and everything I reach out to hold onto turns out to be empty and leaves me to drown.)