Q&A: Is It Worth Continuing in the Haredi Community?
Is It Worth Continuing in the Haredi Community?
Question
Hello and blessings to the honored Rabbi, may he live long and well.
I come from a Religious Zionist home, and recently (toward the end of high school yeshiva) I moved to a Lithuanian Haredi yeshiva, about a year ago. Since then I’ve happened to be exposed to many of the Rabbi’s articles and columns, and suddenly I understood that the Haredi outlook is not as pure and true as it had seemed to me from the outside.
I’m debating whether to continue in the Haredi community. On the one hand, it feels to me that the Haredi community (especially the Lithuanian one) is more serious about Torah study than other communities, and I aspire to become a Torah scholar, but there really is a major deficiency in outlook and conduct—and I’m not sure it can truly be bridged.
What does the Rabbi think?
Answer
Hello. I think there is definitely something to gain from spending a few years in a good Haredi yeshiva. Obviously, whenever the subject is not analytical Torah study, you should firmly shut your ears to the nonsense you’ll hear there. Of course, afterward, in order to mature and straighten out your thinking, it is definitely worthwhile to make a correction and free yourself from the influences you absorbed there, and also to mature your learning. To bring in a bit of common sense. It is also very advisable to enlist in the army.
All of this is only with respect to studying in yeshiva. In actual life, obviously one must not be Haredi—whether from the standpoint of reason, morality, and above all, Torah.
Discussion on Answer
It is forbidden because this is a warped and immoral society, a warped Torah, warped Torah giants who lead it, and a crooked fear of Heaven that is extremely punctilious about details while crudely ignoring fundamentals.
Well said, Rabbi.
But seemingly, if there’s a better chance there that I’ll succeed in growing into a Torah scholar and a servant of God, why doesn’t that override the prohibition of living in a warped society, etc.? Let them do their thing and we’ll do ours. And although Maimonides writes that a person is drawn in his views after the society in which he lives, in my humble opinion that isn’t enough of a concern to outweigh the consideration I mentioned at the outset.
Ours*.
As I wrote, growth in Torah also requires an additional stage after studying in a Haredi yeshiva. The Torah there is childish and incorrect. At the first stage you acquire analytical tools, but in the end you also need to learn properly. Beyond that, one studies in order to fulfill. And finally, it doesn’t matter where you live so much as who you are. I wrote that it is not right to be Haredi, but you can live in that society if you guard yourself. But once there is a family and children, it becomes very difficult.
All these are generalizations. Obviously there are different Haredi shades, and there are also more normal ones. I was writing about Haredism in general.
Good advice.
I fled Haredism with my family and children—it was hard, with a heavy price.
But in the end it’s worth it.
It’s worth it to be straightforward.
It’s worth it to be a servant of God with integrity.
When you’re still a young single guy, it’s relatively easy—the prices are simple and not too high; society hasn’t chained you yet.
As a married person with a family, it’s very hard.
Turn from evil and do good: flee Haredism and return to the broader Jewish people.
Thank you very much, Rabbi.
If I may ask, why in actual life is it so bad to be Haredi (without getting into the enlistment issue)? You can learn all day, be in a more Torah-oriented environment, etc. I’m not saying that’s necessarily the way, and there are drawbacks to it too, like financial pressure in most cases, but why say it’s “forbidden”?