Q&A: Question
Question
Question
Hello Rabbi,
My cousin is secular and is “engaged” to a non-Jewish man (an Israeli whose family immigrated from the Soviet Union). In the past he had a circumcision, but apparently that is where the “conversion” process ended.
1) If such a wedding takes place, would the Rabbi say that it is forbidden to attend?
2) Should one openly protest this?
3) From the standpoint of Jewish law — is this a conversion that probably has no validity, and full assimilation in the complete sense of the term?
Thank you.
Answer
In my opinion, there is no halakhic prohibition against attending. Should one actually go in practice? That depends on whether she is aware of her halakhic obligation and is doing this out of desire, or whether she is not aware of it at all. It also depends on whether, and to what extent, this will harm your family relationships with the rest of the family. One certainly should not boycott it as a protest, since that does not help and only stirs up hatred.
One should know that the prohibition here is not extremely severe from a halakhic standpoint, even though people tend to view it very strictly. All the more so here, where in the marriage the Jewish side prevails and the children will be Jewish (because the woman is the Jewish side). Therefore, in my opinion as well, there is reason not to ostracize them, so as not to cause them to distance the children from Jewish education and Jewish society.