Q&A: Following up on your post — promoting private marriage in the face of the Rabbinate
Following up on your post — promoting private marriage in the face of the Rabbinate
Question
Hello Mr. Abraham,
My name is M., and recently I came across a post you wrote on the subject of private marriage as a protest against the Rabbinate.
I am the daughter of secular immigrants from the former Soviet Union who are recognized by the Interior Ministry as common-law spouses. My mother has no way to prove her Jewishness, since she cannot prove her grandmother’s Jewishness (she is buried in an unknown location). In addition, she has no documents that could confirm her grandmother’s Jewishness.
Following Aryeh Deri’s remarks about taking DNA samples from immigrants from the former Soviet bloc in order to prove their Jewishness, the humiliating attitude of the Rabbinate toward immigrants from the former Soviet Union, especially, returned to the headlines.
I would be interested in receiving your advice as to whether it is possible to take action on this issue (promoting private marriage and privatizing the Rabbinate / breaking up the monopoly, promoting civil marriage) as an ordinary citizen.
Alternatively, I would be glad if you could refer me to another party who might be able to help.
Respectfully,
M.
Answer
Hello M.,
I don’t know exactly what can be done. Mainly to write and protest. There are quite significant forces and interests on the other side, and it’s hard to move anything.
As for the problem you described, דווקא here I have to say that I don’t completely identify with it. As someone committed to Jewish law, I also think that halakhic kiddushin are performed between Jews. It is a halakhic act, and therefore subject to the rules of Jewish law. If someone wants to do something else—no problem. But you can’t perform a halakhic act not according to Jewish law.
You have to understand that, as in any legal system, a person has to prove their status, and in this case, their Jewishness. When there is no evidence, that is indeed sad, but you need to understand that this is how systems work. It is not reasonable to accept someone’s Jewishness based only on their own declaration, because then you empty this halakhic rule of all content. Just as the state would not accept someone’s declaration that they are an Israeli citizen without proof.
I am definitely in favor of there not being a Rabbinate monopoly over marriage, and that everyone should marry whomever they want, but marriage according to the law of Moses and Israel is a halakhic act, and it is performed between demonstrably Jewish people. There are halakhic rules for how this can be proven.
It is true that sometimes the Rabbinate handles the matter in an inconsiderate way and is stringent where there is no need. Therefore, specifically on the question of clarifying Jewish status and the various ways to be lenient in this, it is worth contacting the Tzohar organization, and in particular Rabbi David Stav (the rabbi of Shoham, who heads Tzohar), who deal with this in a more considerate way.
All the best and much success,