Q&A: Question regarding in vitro fertilization with an ex-wife
Question regarding in vitro fertilization with an ex-wife
Question
Good afternoon,
I was referred to you by a friend. I have a question (pretty obvious from the title) that I wasn’t able to find a quick answer to by searching online.
I am divorced with a child. His mother and I are on very good terms, and recently it became clear to her that she needs to undergo a process of egg / embryo freezing, and then the whole issue of another child also came up.
We are both fairly positive about the idea, but she is concerned that there may be a halakhic obstacle, or at least some problematic aspect:
1. I understood that the whole issue of in vitro fertilization for an unmarried woman is not exactly black and white;
2. There are many situations in which a divorced couple can become, at least technically, married according to Jewish law;
3. She has not remarried, but if that happens and she wants to use my embryos, that could cause even more of a problem, since a divorced couple cannot remarry if the woman married another man after their divorce (would such a situation lead to the child being considered a mamzer?)
I don’t know how often questions like this come up, but as I said, I wasn’t able to find any discussion of it on Google. If there is a clear answer, something one can rely on, we would be deeply grateful.
Best regards,
Answer
Hello.
I don’t understand the question. You are divorced and want to have a child together through in vitro fertilization? She has not remarried?
I assume you are not a kohen, correct?
Discussion on Answer
The problems with such an act are mainly practical. How do you make sure that the child and society at large even know who his father is, and thus, for example, prevent him from marrying his paternal sister. To answer that, one has to know the details of how this is actually done in practice, what the procedures are, and how the supervision works. And I am not familiar with the reality on the ground. There are organizations that deal with this both halakhically and professionally. For example, the Puah Institute. It’s worth consulting them. You can get back to me after they answer you there.
Yes—we are divorced (from each other), want to have a child together via in vitro fertilization, and she has not remarried.
And yes, I am not a kohen.
(The reason for the in vitro fertilization also has to do with the fact that she currently needs to freeze eggs for various medical reasons that will apparently prevent her from becoming pregnant naturally in any case.)