I am obligated in the commandments. It’s just that we have a dispute about what the commandments are…

So let’s take another case. Suppose they were Haredi and I were Religious Zionist, and there were a conflict over whether I should go to the army. Their rabbi would say it is a transgression and mine would say it is a commandment.
So what would I have to do?

P.S. It isn’t clear to me why, when there is a dispute between Reform and religious Jews, the Reform are considered heretics and not people with a different halakhic opinion, like in disputes with the Haredim.

Ritual hand-washing is more a matter of “honoring Heaven” than honoring one’s parents, but in these crazy days it is important to be careful—and especially when the parents are older—to disinfect your hands with alcohol gel 🙂

With the blessing “This too is for the good,”\ in// Corona Projector

You defined yourself in the message as Reform. The Reform are not obligated by Jewish law, according to their own self-definition. Maybe you are obligated, in which case you need to explain your position to me so that I can address it. I don’t know you, and you chose to present yourself through that label, so why are you surprised?
As a rule, ritual hand-washing is a halakhic obligation, unless you have a specific halakhic argument, in which case it can be discussed.
In an internal dispute within Jewish law, there is no obligation to obey parents, especially if the matter concerns choosing a way of life (such as going to the army). See my article here:

כיבוד הורים וטריטוריה הלכתית

I have to note that the question is puzzling from the outset. If you are Reform and you need “halakhic advice” about how to behave with your parents, why don’t you ask a Reform rabbi about it? From the question it seems that you are looking for an authoritative religious source to tell you how to act, and not just advice from an expert in resolving value conflicts with parents. (If that were the case, why not just ask a psychologist?) If what you’re seeking is an authoritative religious source, it would make much more sense to turn to a “Reform rabbi,” who is closer to your worldview and whose authority in such matters you presumably accept much more.

It is roughly like asking a priest: “My parents want me to go to church every Sunday, but I converted and I’m Jewish. Religiously speaking, how should I relate to their request?” (Without addressing my actual conversion and my disbelief in Jesus, may his name be erased—
that isn’t going to change (:)

Since the Reform movement holds that the principles of Judaism should be adapted to the spirit of the time and place, it seems to me that although it is certainly permitted to eat without ritual hand-washing, nevertheless when you are at your parents’ home you may adapt your principles to the spirit of the place, and you may wash your hands in order to make your parents feel good—especially since, according to Reform Jewish law, there is no prohibition against washing one’s hands 🙂

Best regards, Rabbi Sam Lovinger, preacher of the blood of the covenant at “Temple Tefotzina”