Q&A: Family Purity
Family Purity
Question
To the Rabbi, hello,
On the Srugim website they brought a letter from rabbis against Peninei Halakha, the laws of family purity. Since I am a yeshiva student and have no understanding at all of these matters, the site brings a pamphlet with criticisms of Rabbi Melamed’s words.
Does the Rabbi have an opinion on the matter, and perhaps the Rabbi could write a column so that everyone will know whether this is political because of conversion,
or whether there is really a problem.
Thank you.
Answer
It is clear that the campaign against him is political (that is, because of disputes with him regarding conversion, science together with Reform Jews, and so on). The proof is that only now did everyone suddenly remember to come out against Peninei Halakha, even though the book has already existed for many years.
As for the substance of the matter, they are entitled to hold different halakhic positions, and the chooser will choose. Rest assured: Rabbi Melamed’s positions are clearly entirely legitimate from a halakhic standpoint.
Discussion on Answer
In matters of family purity too, in my opinion Rabbi Melamed is more stringent than the law requires.
I’m in a somewhat unique situation, and I understood that in my situation we do not need to observe seven clean days.
But my wife wanted permission from a rabbi (my distinguished Torah background wasn’t enough for her).
We asked a famous rabbi, a very well-known community rabbi and completely mainstream, and of course he permitted us that she immerse immediately at the end of menstruation without seven clean days for the period in which the problem is relevant. (Apparently for many years.)
On day 1, the lady decided also to ask Rabbi Melamed.
Why? Just to feel more at ease.
He, of course, was not willing to hear of any permission at all.
The most he agreed to was that when a Sanhedrin is established, the question would be brought before it and they would discuss it…
Bottom line, he also insisted on knowing which rabbi had permitted it…
Of course we didn’t say, and claimed we had forgotten…
So when there is a need to permit without seven clean days, and there is someone who permits it, he is not willing to permit it.
In my opinion he is stringent beyond Jewish law.
I fear that very few rabbis would permit not observing seven clean days under any circumstances whatsoever, however urgent the situation may be. Maybe if a person is in the process of becoming religious again… Even in cases of halakhic infertility, to the best of my knowledge they do not permit waiving seven clean days, only the days waited beforehand because of the concern of discharging semen.
In any case, even if there is someone who would permit it, that is a minority opinion. And Rabbi Melamed is absolutely not being stringent here; he rules in accordance with the overwhelming majority view.
Not becoming religious again, and not halakhic infertility.
A major difficulty.
I knew it was permitted.
And indeed, one of the important rabbis in the country permitted it.
And Rabbi Melamed is not willing to permit it as long as there is no Sanhedrin to discuss it.
So he is being stringent while an ordinary and accepted rabbi permits it.
That is called being stringent.
What does “legitimate” mean?
He is very stringent.
For example, with fast days for pregnant and nursing women.
It is common to hear Rabbi Nebenzahl and not fast,
and not risk fasting as Rabbi Melamed says.