Question

Hello Rabbi,
I don’t know whether you remember, but a few weeks ago I met with you on Zoom to discuss the process of repentance that I am planning to undergo in the foreseeable future.
During the meeting I laid out for you some of the reservations I had about most of the religious public in Israel: on the one hand, the insular Haredi world; on the other, Religious Zionism, which I find hard to accept because of the mystical and racist outlook of Rabbi Kook (its founding father); and in the middle, the Chief Rabbinate, which needless to say is controversial.
Right now I am at a key point in my young life, having successfully finished high school, and on the horizon there is neither army service nor any service role for me—really a blank page.
And I find myself thinking, wrestling with different ideas, and wondering whether the circumstances that led me to decide to go to Netivot Olam Yeshiva are the right ones.
The main motive within me is the knowledge that this, and not anything else, is what has separated a Jew from an apostate for thousands of years, and that a Jewish flag or a Jewish army is no substitute for the unity of our Torah.
But is that enough? Are tradition and dependence on the historical Jewish people really enough to take upon myself the yoke of the kingdom of Heaven for the rest of my life?
 
And one more concern, perhaps a minor one—the character of the yeshiva.
I understand that this is a yeshiva for people returning to observance, and therefore one of the things it does is disconnect those who enter it from the secular world. But it is important for me to say that I have not rejected the secular world, and as a film student, some of the finest works I have been exposed to were directed by committed atheists, and the same goes for other pieces of art, music albums, and so on.
Is this a legitimate concern, or perhaps will the halakhic lifestyle that the yeshiva shapes actually fit nicely with those moments of ordinary life that I experience day to day?