Q&A: Holiness
Holiness
Question
I always thought that the Hasidim were just plain fanatics in all matters of holiness and purity, and that the fact that they think they’re the only ones doing things properly is part of their arrogance (or stupidity). But after learning the rulings explicitly stated in the Shulchan Arukh—they’re simply right, and apparently there isn’t any other sector that keeps these straightforward laws, about which there is no dissent [except perhaps among the Lithuanian Torah scholars too, such as the Hazon Ish people and the Briskers].
What is our master’s opinion, may he live long, on this?
Answer
The question is far too general. If you want to discuss it, bring examples.
Discussion on Answer
These are not laws but norms of modest conduct. Such norms change with the circumstances and accepted social conventions. Preserving what was then is not obligatory, and is even foolish.
Besides, even then, in my opinion, most people did not behave in accordance with the Shulchan Arukh.
So how does one know today how to behave according to the Torah in matters of modesty?
There is common sense.
So,
if I want to be a pious Hasidic ultra-frummer,
I have to give up my common sense.
If you want to be that, then you’ve already given it up.
Even HaEzer 21:
Section 1: A person must keep very, very far from women. And it is forbidden to wink with his hands or feet, or signal with his eyes to any of those forbidden to him sexually. And it is forbidden to joke with her, to act frivolously in her presence, or to look at her beauty.
Section 6: One does not greet a woman at all, even through a messenger, and even through her husband it is forbidden to send her greetings.
There, section 25:
2. And he should not act frivolously with his wife, nor should he speak obscenely with empty talk even between him and her…
And even when he has relations at the time of her conjugal rights, he should not intend for his own pleasure, but rather like a person repaying a debt that he owes for her conjugal rights, and to fulfill the commandment of his Creator