Q&A: Dating and Relationships
Dating and Relationships
Question
Hello Rabbi,
What does the Rabbi advise anyone who wants to find a relationship and is starting to go on dates?
How do you approach it? How do you know the time has come? What happens in the relational space before marriage?
Answer
I’m hardly the person for this. I don’t feel qualified to give advice like that. In general, in my opinion, it’s worth checking for basic compatibility in principle, not insisting on details, and advancing the relationship to a fairly high level of couplehood.
Discussion on Answer
I don’t have anything to add. If you feel this is a partner who suits you, that’s enough. Getting bogged down in details usually doesn’t help.
Yedidya, biochemical algorithms refined over millions of years of evolution kick into action the moment you see someone. They process countless mathematical data points about proportions, and the result is a feeling of beauty or ugliness, attraction or rejection. In short, the decision is made through those sophisticated (unconscious) algorithms called sensations, emotions, and desires. That’s life — superficial.
(Or toward a man, for someone attracted to their own sex. Or toward a woman or a man, for someone attracted to both sexes.)
Thank you for the honest answer.
If the Rabbi has anything to elaborate on when he says basic compatibility from which one moves forward, I’d be glad.
Thanks for the response