חדש באתר: NotebookLM עם כל תכני הרב מיכאל אברהם

Q&A: Guidance

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Originally published:
This is an English translation (via GPT-5.4). Read the original Hebrew version.

Guidance

Question

Hello Rabbi,
For some time now I’ve been dating a girl, outstanding in every way, and so on. Thank God, we have good chemistry and a healthy affection for each other. It’s important to me to keep the proper boundaries so that, God forbid, we don’t stumble into physical contact and other things. But learning the laws of seclusion and everything that branches off from them will take me a good few months, and by then we’ll have met dozens more times.

I wanted to ask whether the Rabbi has a few guidelines or general principles I could follow, and derive from them practical conduct so as to keep the boundaries properly and not stumble. Thank you, and happy New Year!

Answer

I think that if the concern is failing with physical contact, then the criterion should not be the laws of seclusion, which are general rules, but rather specific boundaries that you set for yourselves so as not to stumble, based on your own self-knowledge and your circumstances.
Besides, there is no need at all for months in order to learn the laws of seclusion. You can do it in a quarter of an hour without pressure.

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