Q&A: What Should Be Written on the Invitation? Sons First or Daughters First?
What Should Be Written on the Invitation? Sons First or Daughters First?
Question
Jacob takes his sons and his wives — first the males; but Esau “took his wives and his sons” — first the females.
A. Rashi is not so clear here, because this is not really a matter of males versus females, but of honor: who comes first, the wife or the sons?
He should have brought a case where someone puts his sons before his daughters or vice versa, but the wife is already a different issue.
B. Practically speaking, what should one write first on the invitation: the males or the females?
Is it more like Jacob, where the males come first, and like Esau, where the females come first? Or perhaps it makes no difference?
Answer
I’ve already written several times that I don’t deal with pilpulim on aggadic passages and biblical interpretation.
A. As for Rashi: someone who places the sons before the wives certainly prefers males, because the wives are also older, and if despite that the sons still come first, then it is obvious that among adults too the males would come first. As for someone who places wives before his male children, that is debatable, and perhaps Rashi understood that in such a case there is not necessarily a preference for males (or at least there is no proof of that).
B. I suggest you write the house cat first.
Discussion on Answer
Because its name begins with the letter het, whose numerical value equals “nut” — without including the kolel.
How do you know what the cat’s name is? And what would the ruling be in the case of a cat named Tanchum?
With God’s help, 4 Kislev 5782
Jacob sees his primary responsibility as being toward his sons, who are the “continuing generation” of the house of Jacob, and they especially need the father’s supervision and education, whereas his wives are adults like him and do not need education.
By contrast, Esau, for whom educating the children is unimportant, leaves the raising and education of the children in the hands of his wives, who, as is well known, did not excel in their way of life and were “a bitterness of spirit to Isaac and Rebecca.”
The importance of the sons lies in their being Jacob’s students, who will continue his path. And from this one may also understand the importance of the house cats, from whom Jacob’s sons will learn modesty and cleanliness.
With blessings, Dr. Keti Shunary, the “Who Is That” Institute for Fostering Awareness of Others
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… especially need the father’s supervision…
Parga already discussed a name that can be called something else. The name is Cat, but it is called Tanchum. And the name Tanchum is called Yerachmiel, and so on.
Bialik was sharper in describing the difference between Jacob and Esau:
Esau rises early for the tavern, a whole barrel of liquor gives off its smell from his mouth
Oh oh oh, woe to Esau the gentile, his cup is his life, he must drink, for that is why he is a gentile
Jacob rises early for the house of prayer, giving his Maker praise and glory
Oh, how good is Jacob’s lot, the God who is the Rock of his life, he is bound to give thanks, for Jacob is his name
Esau returns home at night — woe to his wife from her husband’s fist
Oh oh oh, woe to Esau the gentile, his arm is his life, he must strike, for that is why he is a gentile
Jacob returns home in the evening to his abode, his wife and children gladden his heart
Oh, how good is Jacob’s lot, his sons are his life, he is bound to teach them, for Jacob is his name
According to Bialik’s description, Esau gives no importance at all to his sons, and even his wife is nothing but a servant, whereas with Jacob, “his sons are his life, he is bound to teach them,” and from here comes his esteem for his wife, “who raises his sons to Torah and good deeds.”
With blessings, Ami’oz Yaron Schnitzel"r
It seems to me that the Rabbi got tangled up this time.
He meant to make fun of Hammereizel.
And not knows-knows Hammereizels.
They go in His ways: just as He is jealous and vengeful, so too the Hammereizels are jealous and vengeful.
No doubt he’ll yet repay the Rabbi in kind.
Why the cat? And why first of all of them?