Q&A: A Halakhic Question About Conducting a Wedding Ceremony
A Halakhic Question About Conducting a Wedding Ceremony
Question
I wanted to consult with you about a halakhic question that came up.
A couple is about to get married through us according to Jewish law, after they already had a civil marriage abroad. They are asking to use the ring that he already gave her at the civil ceremony abroad. I told them it would be preferable to buy a new, inexpensive ring and use that for the kiddushin. They were not enthusiastic about the idea (I do not understand why… perhaps emotionally she wants to become betrothed דווקא with that specific ring he already gave her… I am not a psychologist and I did not want to get into that).
Without getting into reasoning and sources… it seems to me that if she gives this ring back to the groom as a complete gift *before* the wedding ceremony, he can betroth her with it. Of course, I will explain to them that the ring needs to be *his* before he betroths her with it, and therefore she needs to give it to him wholeheartedly.
What does the Rabbi think?
Answer
Hello,
I do not see a problem with this. To be on the safe side, she should transfer ownership to him in the presence of two people, so that it not be considered a non-serious commitment, and she should say that it is entirely his to do with as he wishes with it (not only for the purpose of betrothing her).
Although a transfer of ownership from a wife to her husband can be problematic, since her hand is like his hand, one could do it through an agent. But in my opinion that is unnecessary, because either way: if she is already his wife now also according to Jewish law, then there is no problem with the kiddushin. And if she is not his wife according to Jewish law, then there is no problem with her transferring ownership to him.