Is a person who holds your positions valid as a witness?

Do you want me to testify to that?

Come on, someone needs to pick up the gauntlet. There’s a whole target audience here from tons of sectors, I assume—everything from traditionalists, religious women, Haredim, etc.—who probably have more in common than what divides them. And if they’re here, it’s actually a great idea to meet, since there’s a shared ideological basis!

If I were you, I’d treat it as a hobby and not burden your partner with these thoughts. It doesn’t really interest her. True, statistically there’s a strong correlation between religion and politics among couples, but from her perspective what she wants to see is religious seriousness at the level that suits her. Questions of this kind don’t interest her and in fact create an image of you as a weird, fringe kind of person. You’d be surprised how fully you can live community life with people whose views are completely far from yours, or work in the job market, or maintain family life, without relating to these questions at all. In the end, these thoughts have no role in your day-to-day functioning, and you can keep them as a harmless personal hobby.

Reality is very far from what you describe, and I wish it were like that. To start with, a girl asks about your outlook on the third or fourth date. If it doesn’t suit her, she won’t continue. If gaps only come out later in life, then you’re right that it doesn’t interfere.

In my opinion, if she brings up that question, it’s to look for an excuse to cut things off. If she likes you, your outlook on this issue or that one will interest her about as much as last year’s snow. What matters is being serious: serious about religion, serious about the commandments, serious about work, serious about the army, and serious about the relationship. Be a serious person, love her, let your heart contain her heart, and it will move in the direction of marriage. It’s accepted that the man is on a higher level than the woman, and even the Talmud says, “If your wife is short, bend down and whisper to her.” There’s absolutely no need to get into corners like your view on divine providence, the coming of the Messiah, or the question of the Flood.

First of all, thanks. But as I understand it, these aren’t side issues; they’re core issues that affect many areas of life. Maybe you’re not familiar with the Torah-oriented Religious Zionist style—there’s a lot of importance there attached to worldview and faith, and questions on these topics come up inevitably and all the time. (Among Haredim, that compatibility is basically required in advance.) Of course, if the man is her knight on the horse, she’ll forget that he has different views, but usually that’s not the situation.

My wife really never claimed to be Torah-oriented. Maybe you should look in advance for someone who’s a graduate of a liberal women’s Torah study program (Hemdat, Migdal Oz), or compromise on someone who isn’t Torah-oriented.

Probably the most important quality to look for in a girl in this context is that she be substantive and not just “smart.” A girl who values substance in this context is a girl who values a person who seeks and aspires to truth, and doesn’t just quote opinions. Someone who values substance—and honestly, in practical terms there really isn’t much difference between your day-to-day behavior and what she expects—won’t see this as a barrier between you, or so it seems to me. (And you also need to be substantive and look for such a girl, and accept her opinion even if you disagree…)
Of course, as the Rabbi said, you don’t need to dump everything on her in one day.
On the other hand, there’s also the sociological issue here, and if you feel there are gaps between you and the society you’re in, then maybe it really is better to look somewhere else, because you’re locking yourself into something that maybe you yourself don’t really want that much.
And one last thing: basically I agree with Y.D.’s general approach. True, it’s easier with a girl who thinks exactly like you, but that’s not reality, and in practice life itself is not these philosophical opinions (there are some things that do directly affect things, but usually not). What matters is that you be good to her (also on dates), show that you care, and that your values regarding family are important. Usually singles attach a lot of importance to opinions and things like that, but you’ll see that most married people will tell you what I wrote here. Other cases are rare. You wrote that you like talking about these things, and I assume you think you marry a person in order to talk about one opinion or another deep into the night. From my experience, I wouldn’t be so sure about that… Consult married people.