Answer

I don’t think there is any room for criticism, and certainly not such harsh criticism.
As for the matter itself: it is true that a marital bond is a contract for better and for worse, and therefore in principle one would expect her to take care of him in one way or another. But do not judge your fellow until you have reached his place. Of course, the matter also depends on many things specific to the case: Is he managing now without her (is there someone to take care of him)? To what extent will she continue to stay in contact with him? Was there prior background? What is his condition now, and what is the outlook going forward? To what extent is it possible to live with him in his current condition? How hard is it for her? To say something general about such a case is wicked foolishness, in my opinion.
But regarding your argument, that he would certainly want / agree to save her, in my opinion it doesn’t hold water. First, because that is not really a valid a fortiori argument. A person makes his focused contribution to the state and the people through military service, even if there is a risk of suffering and even of losing his life, if that should happen to him. But that does not mean he is prepared to bear the price of certain suffering for his entire life. Beyond that, even if he agrees, that still does not constitute justification for her. He agrees to suffer for her, and there is still room to expect her not to accept the price he is willing to pay for her.