Q&A: What You Forbade I Permitted, and What You Permitted I Forbade?
What You Forbade I Permitted, and What You Permitted I Forbade?
Question
The president of the world superpower is coming [or any other distinguished person] — is it permitted for a woman to sing in front of him?
The president of the world superpower is coming [or any other distinguished person] — is it forbidden to shake his hand when it is clear that it is only for the sake of courtesy?
On the first question I don’t know what the answer is, but there was one woman who chose to sing.
On the second question I do know that Rabbi Moshe Feinstein and many other halakhic decisors wrote that a handshake for the sake of courtesy is permitted; there was one woman who chose to embarrass him [herself? and admitted it, all kind of strange?] in public and not shake his hand.
Is this a classic case of “what you forbade I permitted, and what you permitted I forbade”?
What does Jewish law say about this?
What is the Rabbi’s opinion?
Answer
Yes, I just now saw this criticism of Yuval Dayan. I really do not agree.
I also think that at least when necessary it is permitted to shake hands, but if she thinks not—then she did very well, and she deserves great appreciation. I am sure the President of the United States understood that this was nothing against him but rather a religious rule, and I am sure he respects that. As for singing in front of men, she apparently thinks that is permitted, and therefore she was not strict about it (or perhaps she allows herself because of livelihood, which is also legitimate). On both issues there are disputes, and for some reason you choose to be lenient on one and stringent on the other, exactly the opposite of her. Why are you allowed to choose, while she is not?
She deserves a lot of appreciation. More power to her.
Discussion on Answer
Apparently “parnasa” — livelihood.
Moroccan bread.
Both answers are correct (especially the first).
I just got this on WhatsApp:
If she had snubbed Putin like that, she would have been “Yuval Dayan the Truth.”
What is your source that Rabbi Moshe Feinstein of blessed memory permitted it?
I looked again and saw that in Igrot Moshe, Orach Chayim sec. 113, he straightforwardly forbids it, and in Even HaEzer sec. 56 he writes that it is hard to rely on the reasoning to be lenient; see there.
First time the Rabbi is getting emotional over sanctification of God’s name together with the whole sector???
Not emotional—appreciative. And it’s really not the first time.
By the way, it was just published that she spoke with the organizers and notified them in advance, and they told her to perform anyway, so she was also willing to cancel the appearance over this. So it’s worth checking before pouring out contempt.
Indeed, the claim is that Biden forgot the arrangement.
What else is new?
What is “parna”?