Answer

First of all, congratulations to you both.
I’ll begin with a general comment. As a feminist who believes with all his heart in equality (as much as possible halakhically, and even beyond that), I strongly recommend that you relate to this ceremony in a balanced way. There are parts of it that are perceived as unequal without any real basis. There are parts that really are unequal, but why does that matter?! We do this ceremony as a continuation of a longstanding tradition of which we are a part (including the parts we don’t like. Think of secular people who say “with God’s help,” and the like). In the end, equality does not depend on declarations or ceremonies, but on the character of the home you build together. That is what really matters. In my view, this whole preoccupation with ceremonies and producing them is nonsense and folly, and unloading onto this all the frustrations and longings for equality is unnecessary and unhelpful. This whole ceremony is a joke that people forget two days after it takes place, and the energy invested in it is simply wildly unreasonable. Not in the production itself, and not in the striving for equality, etc.
Therefore, a prenuptial agreement and such conditions are very important questions, because they determine the legal relationship between you. That is a substantive issue. The question of whether the bride circles you or the other way around, and whether the person reading the ketubah will be a man, a woman, or a frog, seems to me really unimportant. You could instead also dance a hora on your heads, equally or unequally. Why is this important? Why is it interesting?
Now, after clarifying my principled position (which in my view is more important than all the answers), I’ll turn to your questions.
First, I need to make two preliminary remarks:
A. These clarifications have a halakhic side and a legal side (because in Israel there is a mixing between these two planes). Therefore every step you decide on needs to be examined halakhically and legally. In general, I recommend consulting organizations that deal with this; they advise both halakhically and legally.
B. Most of these decisions are supposed to be made together with the wedding officiant; otherwise you’re spinning your wheels. You might want one thing and he won’t agree, or vice versa. If you decide to marry privately (not through the Rabbinate/Tzohar, etc.), then of course you can choose any rabbi you want. Still, these matters need to be worked out with him. So I’ll begin with the question of the officiant.

1. There is no Jewish law whatsoever that requires any wedding officiant. In fact, this is a superfluous role, purely ceremonial. Its original purpose was that someone knowledgeable should make sure the proceedings are carried out properly according to Jewish law. But the officiant has no constitutive role. Therefore there is also no problem if the officiant is a man, a woman, a monkey, or a silkworm. That said, it is accepted among us that one who is not expert in the laws of divorce and betrothal should not involve himself with them. So you should take a person who is knowledgeable in Jewish law and can make sure the business is carried out properly and correctly. He can of course be a man or a woman or a gentile, and also an atheist, so long as he is expert in the relevant laws and you trust that he will indeed implement them. A wedding canopy ceremony can also be conducted with no officiant at all. It is halakhically valid as long as it was done properly.

1. Regarding prenuptial agreements, there are several accepted versions on the market. I’m not familiar with their details, but various women’s organizations (Mavoi Satum, Justice for Women, and others) will update you on everything needed. In my view it does not matter all that much, because in the end these agreements are not accepted by the Rabbinate, and in a divorce, if there is one, the matter goes to the Rabbinate (as far as I know, there is currently no private divorce in Israel). You of course need to decide whether you are satisfied with a prenuptial agreement or whether you also want a condition (one that nullifies the betrothal if something problematic happens). I recommend both.

There is no halakhic problem whatsoever with such agreements, nor with a condition. True, most halakhic decisors oppose such agreements, but that is only on the basis of policy considerations. According to all opinions, there is no prohibition in this, even if they tell you otherwise. In my view, even from the standpoint of policy it is proper and correct to sign both an agreement and a condition.
You can find wordings online or through the various organizations.

1. Anyone can recite the blessings. In the past it was customary that women not recite them because of the dignity of the congregation. Today, in my opinion, that is not relevant and there is no problem whatsoever. By the way, only recently Hannah Kehat published that her father, Rabbi Shlomo Fischer (who has now passed away), told her this as a halakhic ruling. However, in my opinion one should not give a blessing to someone who does not believe (regardless of the question whether he is observant. The blessing of a person who does not believe has no meaning, and in my opinion it does not count at all. When my daughter got married, she asked me whether to give blessings to this person or that one, and I told her that the criterion was to verify with them that they believe. She conducted a survey among my children to figure out which of them could recite a blessing. That was how I finally found out which of my children believe and which do not. It was very amusing, and I won’t deny that from my point of view it was also a little sad).

It is preferable not to have two people recite together; two voices are not heard clearly. But I don’t think it is indispensable.

1. I’m not familiar with this custom. I understand that it means adding a blessing after the seven. If it is clearly announced that this is a non-halakhic addition, and some break is made, then in my opinion there is no problem with it.

1. I do not know of a modern wording for the ketubah, but that also is not important. What determines what will happen between you is social practice, not the ketubah. In my opinion one should not make an issue of this. If you want to write the ketubah in Hebrew, that arouses antagonism among many people, but in my opinion there is no problem with it. It is even preferable.

You do not have to read the ketubah at all during the ceremony. This is a custom whose purpose is to separate between the betrothal and the marriage. You could also do a short dance in the middle in order to separate between them, or blow a trumpet.
Anyone can read the ketubah aloud, including an atheist monkey. As noted, it is also possible not to read it at all. But personally I am entirely in favor of reading it, because it emphasizes the legal-contractual dimension present in marriage, beyond the romance and angels and rosy wings that everyone standing under the canopy imagines they see in their mind’s eye. One should remember that there are mutual contractual obligations between you, and this is an essential and important part of your bond. It is fitting to place that at the height of your joy. See the things I said at the wedding of my eldest son. Also see the latest column that went up yesterday on my website.

1. This is a serious halakhic question, and here I would be strict. The woman cannot give a ring to the man during the ceremony. The ring has to come from the man to the woman, since he is the one betrothing her. When the woman betroths him, that invalidates the betrothal. If you want to do an additional ceremonial act afterward and declare that it is not part of the betrothal, that is possible. See my introduction above: the inequality of this ceremony is meaningless. The man is not buying the woman, nor any of those fantasies. That is not the halakhic meaning of the betrothal ceremony, and certainly not its practical meaning. If anything, she is buying him. 🙂

1. Definitely yes, in my opinion.

Again, congratulations, and you are welcome to reach out if there is anything else you would like to discuss.